The Pill

December 29, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

I would like to announce that I have discovered the greatest medical advancement of all time! It is something that I have been hoping for, praying for, and contributing to;

….the PILL that will cure you

This PILL is a medical wonder. Not only does its power allow one to alter the unwanted genetic characteristics that one may have, but just one pill will change those characteristics in almost any different trait! That’s right, just about anyone can become plain, home-grown white American!

For example:

1) If you have those annoying slanted eyes, as well as that disgusting yellow tint on your skin that just won’t go away, even with all that scrubbing…than the PILL is for you!

2) If you are above average at dunking a ball into a hoop, not to mention being impossibly impossible to hunt out at night…than this PILL is for you!

3) If you are so stupid that you feel you must wear a towel on your head and bomb planes for an invisible diety..than this PILL is for you!

4) If you enjoy trying to jump barbed wired fences in search of a better tomorrow, as well as just being kinda dirty and poor…than this PILL is for you!

5) Are you one of those gun-bearing trailer-trashin honky tonks, who know are a poor excuse for any mainstream blue-blood American? …than this PILL is for you!

6) Are you one of those retarded white females who just can’t seem to get the full notice of your white male counterparts? Well, just take half of the PILL that is just for you!

7) And finally, the demographic that started this particular genetic Crusade. The demographic that launched this entire medical experiment, and fortunately (for all of us) found a way to cure everyone…the faggots!
This PILL will most importantly cure you! No longer will you have that urge to wake up every morning, wanting to be ostracized by your family! No longer will you want to get married to your long-time lover (crazy!). No longer will you desire to be accepted by your childhood friends and church leaders….why?? Because you have the PILL!

The PILL; why not?!

Flavors come in:

Cherry (Red)

Blueberry (Blue)

And chewable Nazi-Sugar (White)

If we can discuss the question of taking a straight pill, than we should make a more realistic analogy. We can no more be turned straight as anybody else can change who they are, no matter the bigoted stereotypes.  We are who we are, and we all are proud.

Love,
Chase

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