Shape Shake (All the Single Undies) …….. :)

A quote for thought – Wayne Dyer

“All blame is a waste of time. No matter how much fault you find with another, and regardless of how much you blame him, it will not change you. The only thing blame does is to keep the focus off you when you are looking for external reasons to explain your unhappiness or frustration. You may succeed in making another feel guilty about something by blaming him, but you won’t succeed in changing whatever it is about you that is making you unhappy.”

– Wayne Dyer

It’s Not God Saying Gays Should Be Put to Death, It’s YOU

Alright. Let’s get one thing straight, fundie homophobes- you don’t get a pass when you “quote” the Leviticus Bible verse saying:

If man lies with a man as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.
This may come as a shock to the “hate the sin, love the sinner” set, but by quoting that verse, it’s not God saying that gays should be put to death- it’s YOU. It’s not simply a personal religious view or a debatable “political difference” or a great talking point. YOU are saying that I should be put to death.

This week we’ve heard it from everyone from a Ugandan Pastor to another California Beauty Queen, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley. And despite them both saying they ‘don’t hate gay people’, there’s not much love in saying I should have ‘blood upon me.’ That’s not really a debatable point.

Of course we’ve all heard that Leviticus quote in every debate about homosexuality and LGBT rights that comes up. Everyone from Focus on the Family to politicians to Westboro Baptist Church throws that verse up as a bump-sticker quote that explains why they hate us- and why it’s beyond their control that they do.

They just can’t help it- God says so.

Uganda’s Porn Peddling Pastor Martin Ssempa uses the quote to explain why his country should pass the “Kill the Gays” Bill, even while at the same time he says he doesn’t hate gays. It’s just about the act, not the person. It’s out of his hands- that verse means we should die. It’s not up to him.

Even the new Miss Beverly Hills 2010 Lauren Ashley uses the verse to explain why it’s okay if she hates the gays:
The Bible says that marriage is between a man and a woman. In Leviticus it says, ‘If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them.’ The Bible is pretty black and white. I feel like God himself created mankind and he loves everyone, and he has the best for everyone. If he says that having sex with someone of your same gender is going to bring death upon you, that’s a pretty stern warning, and he knows more than we do about life.
Yet in the same breath, she says she personally doesn’t hate gays, we just have a friendly difference of opinion:
That isn’t really the issue. I have a lot of friends that are gay, and … I have a lot of friends who have different views, and we share our views together.
See? It’s not Miss Beverly Hills who thinks you should die- just ask her gay friends!

This verse has become a homophobic cover for people to try to wash their hands of the damage they are doing and the violent, extremist views they hold. It’s become an accepted talking point for bigots and haters, parroted without any real thought about the consequences of saying a swath of people should be killed because their personal idea of ‘God says so.’ (Oddly, the same people breeze over other ‘abomination’ verses in the same book and put on their mixed fiber clothing and eat their shrimp scampi after church.) I’ve personally heard that ‘gays should be killed verse way too much in my life. It’s what started my life as an activist when a skycap played it over the intercom in Fort Lauderdale Airport as a joke. Because saying I should die is simply hilarious.

Think it’s a stretch to mention the Ugandan Pastor and a California Beauty Queen in the same post? It’s not. It’s the “trickle down” hate effect. Leaders crow about how gays should die and then small-minded bigots use it in casual conversation. It’s all the same hate.

That’s why it’s important that we don’t give passes to people like Miss Beverly Hills. She invoked ‘death for gays’ in a discussion on gay marriage (and pageants) and wasn’t challenged by the interviewer. That’s how accepted the talking point has become. That’s what we are facing.

And that’s why we have to always call it out.

Let’s be clear: when you trot out this Bible verse, you are endorsing it, embracing it, and wrapping yourself in it. No amount of “I have gay friends”, “it’s just the act”, or excuse-making will soften it. YOU are saying I should be killed.

You can’t wipe your hands of it, you can’t act shocked when violence happens to LGBT people, and you can’t distance yourself from it. YOU own it. YOU are part of it.

And no amount of fancy pageant walking will change that.

The Pill

I would like to announce that I have discovered the greatest medical advancement of all time! It is something that I have been hoping for, praying for, and contributing to;

….the PILL that will cure you

This PILL is a medical wonder. Not only does its power allow one to alter the unwanted genetic characteristics that one may have, but just one pill will change those characteristics in almost any different trait! That’s right, just about anyone can become plain, home-grown white American!

For example:

1) If you have those annoying slanted eyes, as well as that disgusting yellow tint on your skin that just won’t go away, even with all that scrubbing…than the PILL is for you!

2) If you are above average at dunking a ball into a hoop, not to mention being impossibly impossible to hunt out at night…than this PILL is for you!

3) If you are so stupid that you feel you must wear a towel on your head and bomb planes for an invisible diety..than this PILL is for you!

4) If you enjoy trying to jump barbed wired fences in search of a better tomorrow, as well as just being kinda dirty and poor…than this PILL is for you!

5) Are you one of those gun-bearing trailer-trashin honky tonks, who know are a poor excuse for any mainstream blue-blood American? …than this PILL is for you!

6) Are you one of those retarded white females who just can’t seem to get the full notice of your white male counterparts? Well, just take half of the PILL that is just for you!

7) And finally, the demographic that started this particular genetic Crusade. The demographic that launched this entire medical experiment, and fortunately (for all of us) found a way to cure everyone…the faggots!
This PILL will most importantly cure you! No longer will you have that urge to wake up every morning, wanting to be ostracized by your family! No longer will you want to get married to your long-time lover (crazy!). No longer will you desire to be accepted by your childhood friends and church leaders….why?? Because you have the PILL!

The PILL; why not?!

Flavors come in:

Cherry (Red)

Blueberry (Blue)

And chewable Nazi-Sugar (White)

If we can discuss the question of taking a straight pill, than we should make a more realistic analogy. We can no more be turned straight as anybody else can change who they are, no matter the bigoted stereotypes.  We are who we are, and we all are proud.

Love,
Chase

The best/worst Breakup

First of all, my dear apologies.  My lack of posting anything new is a little embarrassing for me.  But in my defense, its been a long couple of months…  Huh, maybe I’ll tell all you guys and gals about it.

I think I will.

 

It all began with one word.  Just one, simple noun that flowed out of my mouth.  To me, this word was nonchalant in nature, but at the same time did not lack sincerity and truth.  To my boyfriend at the time, this word I spoke signified something completely different; something scary, unsettling, and means for panic.

“Forever.”

“I want to be with you forever.”

Little did I know, the beginning of the end had just broken ground.  About five weeks later, it was over. 

Its amazing how people interpret words so differently depending on our past experiences, or future aspirations.  Based on what has happened in my past, wanting (and knowing) that I want to be with someone forever is a huge means of comfort, security, and another step in the stair-cased pattern of a relationship.  Also, growing up in an atmosphere where many of my relationships with people were conditional based on your own personal beliefs and outward behavior, being with a man that never judged and, for lack of a better term, “just got me,” was one of the most liberating and loving relationships of my life.  So, finally getting to the point were I knew that I truly wanted to be with him for as long as possible meant that I could give him and I no better compliment that to say it out loud. 

However, this could not be further from the truth…

There were many things that I left out of the equation.  “Forever” does not always = Chase’s expected outcome.  Chase does not = Peter.  Now, before I continue, I want to make it clear that I do not regret sharing my feelings for this beautiful man.  Honesty, openness, and vulnerability are three traits which I live by, and which I believe foster true unconditional love for one another.  But if you truly love someone, you must also recognise the needs of the other.  I did not take into account that his past experiences where completely different, as was his future aspirations.  Unlike myself, he had already been in long term relationships, were untangling the lives of two was nothing short of heartbreaking.  Unlike myself, he grew up in an abusive and alcoholic home, which he still must deal with on a daily basis.  And the views of a successful relationship for the future was also different in his eyes. 

Its now been six weeks since I have seen him.  It was the best breakup I have ever had because we did it in love, and still love each other to this day.  It was also the worst breakup I have ever had because of the same reasons.  However, its allowed me to forcefully grow.  I say “forcefully” because there is no way in hell six weeks ago I would have made myself go through this if I had my way.  But the implications of the past weeks have taught me a lot about unconditional love.  Unconditional love does not always get its way.  Do I want to be happy?  Of course I do.  But when I say that I unconditionally love Peter, I am saying that I am placing his happiness on par with my own.  I am saying that understanding what he needs and essentially is, is inconsequential.  I just love him.  And sometimes not being in someones life in a certain way or role is the best way you can show someone else your love for them.  Taking that back seat can be painful, but remember what that pain really is: your own selfish desires.  Trying to convince someone else that it would be better if things worked out between both of you is not love.  Love does not need your help or your logical arguments.  And if you truly love someone else, than nothing but wonderful things can happen between the two of you in the future.  Regardless of whether the two of you ever are together again, you will always know that you are there for one another, you can be honest with one another, you can share each others pain, you can just…..love.

Has it been hard?  Its been one of the hardest things I have ever been through.  But I see it now as getting rid of more of my selfish traits, and taking another step toward truly loving others.  And that my friends, is a good thing.

 

Love,

CAH

So why all this blog hoopla?

I have spent the better part of a year trying to convince myself not to have a blog.  I find them cliche.  And why?  Why do I need to blog when I have Facebook, MySpace, multiple emails, and a plethora of networks in which I could just “put it out there?”  And who really cares?  Who gives a rat’s ass about my life, thoughts, opinions, cares, sorrows, and passions?

Well, after some consideration, I have been able to answer all the above questions previously prohibiting me.

Number one;  I can be a snobby pompous asshole:

To say anything is cliche just means that you think you are better than something or someone else.  You somehow think you can “up” the current standard or stereotype by creating something better.  Well, I have yet to come out with “Blog: Version Chase 1.0,” so I am gonna go ahead and get off my high horse about blogs and just blog my pompous ass off; and that’s a lot of ass.

Number 2;  Facebook, MySpace, and all the others are not blogs.

They are social networking thingies.  Yes, some have blogs.  But seriously, there is no way in hell that I could write an excerpt about anything without getting constantly distracted with pokes, profile updates, and top friend picks.  And don’t you all worry, I will contribute a whole post to that monster later on.

Number3;  If you have passion and care, others do too.

I have found that many things that I truly care about in life have been the direct result of other people’s passions.  Its been people’s passion to share their experiences and opinions; to share things with me that I have never before considered.  And how could you not share such wonderful acknowledgements about yourself and the world around you with others? 

 

 

Finally, the last and most important reason for this blog;  it is the greatest lesson I have learned in an entire year.  I find that the most simple lessons are the most profound, and this is no exception:

Do not argue.  Do not debate.  Do not fight.  Only consider.  For that is how we grow.

Love,

CAH

Sunday Fundays = Shitty Mondays

Ok I’ll go ahead and just say it…I love Sunday Fundays, and I am not the only one.  I find that most socially mobile twenty-thirty somethings use our blessed day to stretch the weekend out for as long as they can before their ass is dragged back to the mundane hole of the inner week.  It is such a beautiful day…filled with mimosas, oversized sunglasses, day old makeup, and more queens than you can throw a Fendi tote at.  Of course any day were it is socially acceptable to drink before noon is a good day all by itself.  However, I have started to become wary of the Sunday Funday.  Was the concept invented for our pleasure, or our demise?  And by the way, who the hell came up with the idea of Sunday Fundays?  I find that if we as a society are going to declare a particular day filled with alcoholic brunches that turn into late-night
clubbing, we should at least have the common decency to give ourselves a day to recover before Monday hits us in the face.  I, for one, am tired of coming into work on Monday dehydrated with blotched out skin and sore legs from dancing the night before.  Are we just that desperate that we must grab on to the weekend with such brazen force that we do not let go until Monday morning?  Well I have news for you, trying to hold onto the weekend is like holding on to your own totter…the harder you hold it, the less pleasure it gives and more pain it causes.  Let it go, Friday night will be here the same time it has always been, waiting for you with open arms…one holding a martini, the other a beer.  So, go buy that new outfit for this weekend, confirm the evite to that party, and go ahead and get a head start on your water intake, because you own this weekend.  Just always remember this… “Save a Monday, kill a Sunday Funday.”

Open Your Eyes to the Wizard of Oz

Well, it was all farts and giggles for me a few nights ago.  For one, I had absolutely nothing to do, which is always a mental “fondle your crotch” moment.  And to top it all off, the Wizard of Oz was coming on television.  How awesome is that?!  So, a quick visit to the store for some sauvignon blanc and a refreshing salt-scrub bath later, I was set in front of my TV prepared to jump into the wonderful land of little people with impeded vocal cords and flying monkeys who all apparently had bad hair days.  As I finished the show, I realized that it was just as fantastic as it had been when I was a little tot.  However, I noticed some things about the movie that really did not make sense.  I felt the need to share these with you all.

Ah, Glenda, the good witch.  I love it when she glides in on her pretty pink bubble.  I also love it when everybody in the movie points at it as if they have never seen their pepto-princess conduct her reappearing act…but whatever.  As you watch the movie, it is painfully apparent that she is the heroin that will watch over Dorothy and crew as they make their way to the Emerald City.  I guess you could call her their “go-to” girl.  And that is all good and well.  However, has anyone ever given thought to why the hell she made all of them go on that agonizing little hike?  Think about it.  At the end of the movie, when all hope is lost that Dorothy will ever get home, Glenda appears in her glazed-over scum bubble to inform her that all she must do is click her heals together to get home.  I swear, if that was me, I would have slapped that bitch so hard her glued-on glitter would have flown right off.  Where the hell does she get off making that poor child trek through haunted forests and drug induced meadows (in heals no less) just to see her Aunty Em?  I am so sick of narcissistic premodonas making people go through shit just to teach them a lesson.  Just send the poor girl home.

What a scary creature the Wicked Witch of the West is.  Green skin, over-draped clothing, and nails in grave need of a manicure at a Saks salon…not to mention her evil laugh makes my penis shrink to the size of a kosher sausage.  You immediately want to hate her for wanting to harm our poor Dorothy.  But upon closer inspection, she really is not the worst character in the film.  Think about it.  Some naïve pig-tailed overgrown waif just comes along and drops a house on her sister.  She drops a house on her sister….    I don’t know about you, but I would be pissed as hell if someone dropped a house on my little sister.  And on top of that, Dorothy steals this gorgeous pair of ruby heals, which are no doubt a family heirloom.  Who does this midtown redneck think she is?  Toward the end of the movie I was just praying that the hourglass would empty out before Dorothy was saved so she would get was comin to her.  But of course, Liza’s mother wins in the end.

I hope we all learned something from this.  All the Witch of the West really needed was a good exfoliant and a trip to Barney’s and she would have been in ship-shape.  Dorothy should have kept her ass at home instead of chasing after her rabie-induced dog.  And Glenda just needs a check-up from the neck-up and a few days to untwist the wand she has tangled in her fairy panties.  The Wizard of Oz, a good movie…but take it with a grain of salt.

Love,

CAH